Just too Shy
by Nick.Norma
Summary: I’m screwed, it’s that simple. She’s my best friend. Hell, she has always been my best friend and now I’ve gone and ruined it. Damn my confounded emotions! RoxasKairi pairing. There will only be 7 chapters of this one. dedicated to Riku of Darkness. AU
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey Guys I'm back with a new KH fic. This time I'm writing a short one about a pairing that I've only came across once and thought to be so awesome. So this time round the two protagonists are Roxas and Kairi. Throw in a bit of angst and hopefully I'll have a good story. Also I'm trying out this in 2nd person, let me know what you think- also if anyone has better ideas for the title I'm totally open to sugestions. So without further ado...

Just to Shy.

By Nick Jones.

P.S. this chapter is from Roxas' P.O.V.

* * *

I'm screwed, it's that simple. She's my best friend. Hell, she has always been my best friend and now I've gone and ruined it. Damn my confounded emotions! I wish they would all go away and leave me here as a cold heartless shell even that would be better than suffering through these feelings only to know that I can never have her… Kairi.

Even her name mentioned in my mind sends shivers traversing down my spine. Her smile makes my knees buckle and my face grow red.

She's sitting across from me right now, on the opposite side of the double bed, lying on her stomach with her feet in the air and reading a magazine- picking out shoes,

'Roxas, what do you think of these ones?' she asks her sweet voice travelling carefree across the room. I crane my neck around to observe the shoes she has picked out, two baby blue Jandals not the most elegant but perfect for the long walks she likes to take around the island,

'They look good!' I reply timidly not being able to bring myself to look into her beautiful violet eyes.

I'm infatuated I know, but there's not much I can bloody well do to stop these feelings. I've never felt this way before about any other girl. It was only at the start of this year that I developed these ideas.

We had been at the Beach that entire day and I just remember sitting on a sand dune while Kairi was swimming. She came up from under the blue for breath and the late afternoon sun reflected off her hair. It was then a strange thought popped into my mind- I saw for the first time how beautiful she really was.

'Do you think Sora will like them?' she asks yet another question, tearing me from my memory delving,

'What?'

'I said do you think Sora will like the shoes?'

Ah yes, him. The dirty no good bastard Kairi has liked for years. On the surface he may be bright, cheerful, good looking and the perfect guy, but I know for a fact that he's not all he pretends to be.

You see Sora is behind closed doors rude and bitchy. He has one of the most dirty mouths I've ever come across, and there's another thing. Sora's gay. Well… I guess the last one is a bit of an exaggeration, Sora is bi would be more appropriate.

He's only fifteen but he's most definitely bi; With Riku. Enough said. Kairi doesn't know because I'm the only one who does. I and Sora used to be the inseparable pair. This was back before Riku the walking teenage depression arrived on the Island. When Riku did get here however, he and Sora began to spend a lot of time together and I mean A LOT! My suspicions were proven to be right when one night while Sora was staying at my place he confided in me that he and Riku had done certain… things. Things that just aren't right in my opinion. He then went on to ask me if I was interested in trying these things out. To put a long story short I politely declined. What followed was one of the nastiest arguments I have ever experienced and we were no longer friends.

I still hang out with Sora every now and then, but I make a point to stay away most of the time. He's trying to hard to someone he's not I reckon, and I don't wanna have anything to do with that. He's just a dick now, him and Riku.

I know what your thinking, why didn't I tell? Well there are to things in life that I hold dear above all else- friendship and honour. Sora and I are no longer mates, but his secrets are presently safe with me. Besides it would kill Kairi to know.

So I keep quiet, suffer alone in silence. Every remark made about Sora a nail in my coffin.

I know I can't just tell her how I feel, that would be too easy- way too easy. Besides, I know she doesn't see me that way.

'Roxas? Are you Okay? Kairi again breaks into my memoirs,

'Sure.' I reply knowing full well I am not.

'You seem a bit distant.'

'Just thinking about exams.' I reply

'Oh.' She seems almost disappointed but only for a moment. She brightens right up when I point out that those shoes Kairi wants are available at the store down the road, 'Great. I'll go tomorrow. Will you come with me Roxas?'

'Do you even need to ask that question?' I grin, 'Of course I'll come with you.' I'm soo pathetic but she's like a drug and I'll take any time I can get with my best friend.

'Thanks Rox.' She smiles leans over and kisses me on the cheek. I feel myself blushing big time and something rather annoying is happening in my pants. Luckily I'm lying on my stomach so it's not obvious.

'Roxas, can you shut the bedroom door for me, its getting a bit cold in here.'

Damn.

I wanna tell her, I want her to know that I don't wanna Be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why...

I hate what I'm feeling. I love him, I know I do. His voice his looks his eyes so deep blue. But here's the thing I know nothing can never happen. He's my best friend! It also doesn't help that I know Roxas doesn't feel that way about me.

How do I know? At first I didn't, so I commenced an experiment. I bought him along to everything I did. That didn't work; I lay close to him on my bed. No success in that either; I even did the unthinkable. I tried to make him jealous by pretending I like this boy called Sora. Sora is a prick, he hurt Roxas badly- they used to be best friends. I don't know exactly what happened but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Sora being Gay. Roxas thinks I don't know that Sora is, but come on! I'm a woman- I've seen the way Riku and Sora look at each other, I'm not stupid!

But yeh, even pretending to like his enemy didn't work. That's how I know Roxas doesn't love me. I wish he did, but I'd rather torment myself in silence then to let him know my true feelings and scare him off- our friendship is too important and I'd hate to ruin that.

'Roxas, what do you think of these ones?' I ask him, I've finally picked out a pair of shoes. This is yet another ploy to be close to him. I asked him because I want him to lean over me. He does but only for a moment and it feels wonderful to have a solid body so close to me. It's reassuring not sexual.

'They look good.' He mutters it sounds like he isn't even interested. Maybe he's getting pissed off at me, maybe I'm being too clingy?

I try something to push him away a little if I am,

'Do you think Sora will like them?' I can feel his body slouch in what? Depression? Or is it tensing? I dunno. There's silence for about a minute,

'What?'

'I said do you think Sora will like these shoes?' I ask again. He's out of it for a couple of minutes and I'm worried,

'Roxas you okay?'

'Sure.' I know he's annoyed,

'You just seem a bit distant.'

'Just thinking about exams.' He replies. We don't have exams for another three weeks.

'Oh.' He wasn't jealous after all.

'Hey Kairi,' he says pointing at the magazine, 'look- those shoes are sold just down the road!'

'Real?' I grin. Dumb arse, the magazine is from that damn shop! I pretend not to notice,

'Ill probably go get them tomorrow- you wanna come?'

'Do you even need to ask that question? Of course I'll come with you!" he smiles and everything seems better.

'Thanks Rox' I use my pet name for him in hopes it might trigger something in him. I then lean over and do the unthinkable- I kiss him on the cheek. He's all red now and have to stop myself from laughing.

The cold wind coming in through the door helps,

'Roxas can you shut the bedroom door for me, its getting a bit old in here.'

He seems annoyed.

I wanna tell him, I want him to know that I don't wanna be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why…

**_2 years later…_**

Its midnight and the phone rings. Its shrill painful shriek of a tone echoes through my dreams and stirs me from a restless sleep.

With my eyes clogged up by sleepy dust I roll out of my bed and onto my messy rubbish laden floor. Half asleep I follow the sound of the Phone "Bring, Bring! Dideling dideldideling!" I eventually find it, buried under a layer of my sketchbooks which I use to express myself when I'm feeling down.

"Bring, Bring! Dideling dideldideling!" I answer the phone,

'Hello?' I mumble barely audible over the tormented cries coming through from the other end of the line,

'Kairi?' I ask now fully awake, I'd recognise that cry anywhere.

'Roxas!' she sobs uncontrollably, 'Roxas… he… he cheated!' she whispers to me,

'Slow down,' I say sitting back up on my bed, 'where are you? What happened?'

'I'm… I'm at a payphone…. It was Sora! Sora cheated on me.'

'What?'

Kairi and that fag had been dating for almost three months now, the reasoning behind it all bewildering me.

'I walked in on him! He was supposed to pick me up for our date tonight and he didn't show! I went over to his house and found him… oh god!'

'Riku?' I guess. Kairi give a confirming sob,

'Oh Kai…'

'Wait! How'd you know?' she asks,

'Because Sora wanted it to be me instead of Riku back when we became enemies.'

'You knew he was gay and didn't tell me?'

'I didn't have the balls to break your heart Kai!" I whine.

'So you let me find out like this! Hell Roxas! I don't know why I even bothered calling you!' she hangs up.

Crap.

I know what I've gotta do. So I grab from the lounge a DVD and from the kitchen three bags of chips, before taking off in my run down Corolla towards the only payphone near Sora's house. I also chuck in my old baseball bat just in case that bastard or his gay buddy turn up and try to make trouble.

Its pouring own with rain tonight, which makes it real hard to see, but I rive slowly and eventually arrive down Sora's street. Kairi however is nowhere to be seen.

I keep driving, looking up the road when I spot someone. I speed up a bit so I'm driving right beside the person. It's Kairi, her hair is a mess and she is soaking wet and crying.

I park beside her and jump out,

'Kairi!' I yell and run towards her. She turns to face me, I grab her around the waist and watch as she weakly attempts to pummel my chest,

'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WASN'T OVER IT?' she screams but eventually gives up and tumbles into my waiting arms a crying broken mess,

'Shhsh.' I whisper and hold her reassuringly, 'let's get you home.'

I'm sitting with her against me on the couch, her head resting on my chest watching the Drew Barrymore movie I had grabbed at random. She's feeling a bit better now, although she still sobs occasionally in my arms.

'Roxas? What are you doing?' she asks looking up and I realise I'm stroking her beautiful hair, I pull back, red in the face,

'Sorry.' I mumble. She goes red too and looks back at the movie.

Two hours later and after all the food in the house has been devoured she decides that she should get some sleep. So I help her up and we go to her bedroom upstairs. I reach her door and stop,

'I'll let myself out. You just get some rest Kai. I'll see you tomorrow.' I say and give her a warm hug,

'Thanks Roxas, and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I blush again, and turn quickly to leave so she doesn't see my reaction,

'Night.' I mutter and leave.

Damn!

I wanna tell her, I want her to know that I don't wanna be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why…


	2. Chapter 1 Reverse

Chapter 1 Part 2! From Kairi's P.O.V.

* * *

I hate what I'm feeling. I love him, I know I do. His voice his looks his eyes so deep blue. But here's the thing I know nothing can never happen. He's my best friend! It also doesn't help that I know Roxas doesn't feel that way about me. 

How do I know? At first I didn't, so I commenced an experiment. I bought him along to everything I did. That didn't work; I lay close to him on my bed. No success in that either; I even did the unthinkable. I tried to make him jealous by pretending I like this boy called Sora. Sora is a prick, he hurt Roxas badly- they used to be best friends. I don't know exactly what happened but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Sora being Gay. Roxas thinks I don't know that Sora is, but come on! I'm a woman- I've seen the way Riku and Sora look at each other, I'm not stupid!

But yeh, even pretending to like his enemy didn't work. That's how I know Roxas doesn't love me. I wish he did, but I'd rather torment myself in silence then to let him know my true feelings and scare him off- our friendship is too important and I'd hate to ruin that.

'Roxas, what do you think of these ones?' I ask him, I've finally picked out a pair of shoes. This is yet another ploy to be close to him. I asked him because I want him to lean over me. He does but only for a moment and it feels wonderful to have a solid body so close to me. It's reassuring not sexual.

'They look good.' He mutters it sounds like he isn't even interested. Maybe he's getting pissed off at me, maybe I'm being too clingy?

I try something to push him away a little if I am,

'Do you think Sora will like them?' I can feel his body slouch in what? Depression? Or is it tensing? I dunno. There's silence for about a minute,

'What?'

'I said do you think Sora will like these shoes?' I ask again. He's out of it for a couple of minutes and I'm worried,

'Roxas you okay?'

'Sure.' I know he's annoyed,

'You just seem a bit distant.'

'Just thinking about exams.' He replies. We don't have exams for another three weeks.

'Oh.' He wasn't jealous after all.

'Hey Kairi,' he says pointing at the magazine, 'look- those shoes are sold just down the road!'

'Real?' I grin. Dumb arse, the magazine is from that damn shop! I pretend not to notice,

'Ill probably go get them tomorrow- you wanna come?'

'Do you even need to ask that question? Of course I'll come with you!" he smiles and everything seems better.

'Thanks Rox' I use my pet name for him in hopes it might trigger something in him. I then lean over and do the unthinkable- I kiss him on the cheek. He's all red now and have to stop myself from laughing.

The cold wind coming in through the door helps,

'Roxas can you shut the bedroom door for me, its getting a bit old in here.'

He seems annoyed.

I wanna tell him, I want him to know that I don't wanna be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why…


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Roxas' P.O.V.**_  
_**

****

**_2 years later…_**

Its midnight and the phone rings. Its shrill painful shriek of a tone echoes through my dreams and stirs me from a restless sleep.

With my eyes clogged up by sleepy dust I roll out of my bed and onto my messy rubbish laden floor. Half asleep I follow the sound of the Phone "Bring, Bring! Dideling dideldideling!" I eventually find it, buried under a layer of my sketchbooks which I use to express myself when I'm feeling down.

"Bring, Bring! Dideling dideldideling!" I answer the phone,

'Hello?' I mumble barely audible over the tormented cries coming through from the other end of the line,

'Kairi?' I ask now fully awake, I'd recognise that cry anywhere.

'Roxas!' she sobs uncontrollably, 'Roxas… he… he cheated!' she whispers to me,

'Slow down,' I say sitting back up on my bed, 'where are you? What happened?'

'I'm… I'm at a payphone…. It was Sora! Sora cheated on me.'

'What?'

Kairi and that fag had been dating for almost three months now, the reasoning behind it all bewildering me.

'I walked in on him! He was supposed to pick me up for our date tonight and he didn't show! I went over to his house and found him… oh god!'

'Riku?' I guess. Kairi give a confirming sob,

'Oh Kai…'

'Wait! How'd you know?' she asks,

'Because Sora wanted it to be me instead of Riku back when we became enemies.'

'You knew he was gay and didn't tell me?'

'I didn't have the balls to break your heart Kai!" I whine.

'So you let me find out like this! Hell Roxas! I don't know why I even bothered calling you!' she hangs up.

Crap.

I know what I've gotta do. So I grab from the lounge a DVD and from the kitchen three bags of chips, before taking off in my run down Corolla towards the only payphone near Sora's house. I also chuck in my old baseball bat just in case that bastard or his gay buddy turn up and try to make trouble.

Its pouring own with rain tonight, which makes it real hard to see, but I rive slowly and eventually arrive down Sora's street. Kairi however is nowhere to be seen.

I keep driving, looking up the road when I spot someone. I speed up a bit so I'm driving right beside the person. It's Kairi, her hair is a mess and she is soaking wet and crying.

I park beside her and jump out,

'Kairi!' I yell and run towards her. She turns to face me, I grab her around the waist and watch as she weakly attempts to pummel my chest,

'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WASN'T OVER IT?' she screams but eventually gives up and tumbles into my waiting arms a crying broken mess,

'Shhsh.' I whisper and hold her reassuringly, 'let's get you home.'

I'm sitting with her against me on the couch, her head resting on my chest watching the Drew Barrymore movie I had grabbed at random. She's feeling a bit better now, although she still sobs occasionally in my arms.

'Roxas? What are you doing?' she asks looking up and I realise I'm stroking her beautiful hair, I pull back, red in the face,

'Sorry.' I mumble. She goes red too and looks back at the movie.

Two hours later and after all the food in the house has been devoured she decides that she should get some sleep. So I help her up and we go to her bedroom upstairs. I reach her door and stop,

'I'll let myself out. You just get some rest Kai. I'll see you tomorrow.' I say and give her a warm hug,

'Thanks Roxas, and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I blush again, and turn quickly to leave so she doesn't see my reaction,

'Night.' I mutter and leave.

Damn!

I wanna tell her, I want her to know that I don't wanna be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why…


End file.
